It is actually quite a difficult thing to be kind. If you are going to be truly kind, you have to be very present in the moment and work to put yourself into the world of those around you, understanding them in order to avoid judgment. If you don’t pay attention, your default will be to act and react based on the prototype or standard to which you hold yourself and everyone else and you can easily become a tyrant. Our demands for perfection create anger which then spills out onto others when we are not paying attention to how we treat them. That’s why it’s easiest to be unkind to ourselves and those closest to us: our families or those with whom we spend the most time.
Being kind to others springs from putting effort into receiving gentle kindness for your self at the deepest level – at that place where you believe yourself most unlovable. If you are able to do that for yourself, you can know the deepest parts of ANYONE else and be understanding, empathetic and kind to them, too. We don’t love others because we don’t love ourselves.